May 3: Last night, we found out my dad had passed away. We were all waiting for him at Stacy's house for family dinner, which happens to be Josh's birthday dinner (nachos) and Aunt Judy expressed her concern that he hasn't been answering his phone and there's been a package on his front step for a day or so. Autumn wasn't there yet, so we asked her to stop by papa's and check on him, as we were thinking maybe he fell asleep or something. A few minutes later, she calls my mom and she is sobbing into the phone. My mom says "something is wrong" and busts out the door to her car. I run out to my car while Jaxon follows me. I tell him he should stay here, but he doesn't listen and gets into the car anyway. Stacy follows soon after that in her car. When we get to my dad's house, Autumn is out on the lawn crying. I know at that moment it's not good. Mom goes in before me and I go just inside the front door and see the back of my dad laying there in front of his recliner and I know he's gone. Mom touches him and assures that he is for sure and she covers him up with a blanket cause he's in his garments. I start hyperventilating but the tears won't come for some reason. I was in total shock and tears would come later and wouldn't stop for a long time. The first thing I did was go back outside and called Dave. I couldn't get my words out and was sobbing and hyperventilating into the phone. At first he couldn't understand what was wrong and thought it was one of the kids. Jaxon's in the car during all of this and he's crying cause he knows something is wrong with papa. I hate that he's here to see this, but I'm so out of it at that point, it doesn't seem to matter. 911 is called, ambulance shows up to carry him out, Sherriff Blackburn comes over, Dean & Teddie show up. Jim and Judy are here. Josh and Dave come over. It all seems so surreal that my dad is gone. How is this possible??? Later, we all go back to Stacy's to talk and cry things over. There's food to be eaten, but nobody seems hungry anymore. My mom goes back over to his house by herself to clean the blood stain out of the carpet. It doesn't completely come out and we end up having to look at it all week while we clean out his house. Emily Simmons has already heard the news and texts me her condolences. I'm so numb. Stacy's (Josh's wife) dad is here cause he's visiting from out of town. I was dressed in my scrubs cause I was supposed to leave at 6:30 to work a 12 hour shift tonight. Dave calls Glen at work to tell him I won't be coming in. I text my director and the school principal to ask for time off. I end up taking off the entire week. There's so much to be done.....we have to tackle his house and get things cleaned up and there's so many papers to go through to look for all of his financials and to find a will if there is one. Later in the week, we find his will in the bottom of a cardboard box full of random papers. The next day, we find out he died from a pulmonary embolism and that it happened fast and he didn't suffer. They said it was one of the biggest blood clots they've ever seen. We also find out he had gotten the COVID Moderna vaccine a few weeks ago and wonder if that had anything to do with his death.....I'm so angry and sad right now...I don't know how to deal with this.....
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